A disciplinarian with rules that are too much and way beyond my imagination. Strict, short-tempered and bias. A dictator who always want things to go your way. These are just few of my descriptions of you when you were still alive. And, in my young age before, I had wished for countless times that time would run so fast because I just couldn’t wait to be able to move out of the house and stay away from you. I really hated going to church with you. I didn’t want to sit with you in the church because you always scold me for chatting and looking around for my friends. For numerous times I had cursed you behind your back because of that and for waking me up so early and for sprinkling water to my face in order to wake me up. I  really despised you for always asking me to read Bible verses or the Gospel for you and asking me do many other things. Little did I know that the things I hated before are the same things I’ll be longing for in the future.

When you were gone, I somehow felt glad and relieved. For sometime, I was happy because you are no longer around and I can finally do things my way. There are no more rules, no more restrictions. But, as time passes by, I was also seeing things in a different way and that’s when  realized just how much I lost. Now, I just can’t help but say “If only you were still here” everytime I see parents with their children going to church. Whenever I see a family so happy, I always end up crying. I always end up wishing that I’ll be able to turn back the hands of time.

Now, I am tracing my steps and recalling my mistakes so that I will not be able to commit the same mistakes again. I’m trying to do everything to bring out the best in me, to become a better me, to be the person which you wanted me to be.   If only you are still here Pa…If only you can still see the good changes in me..I only I can still see your smile of approval..I only I still hear your say “Well done bunso. I am proud of you!” If only I had realized these sooner, I could have told you how much I love you and that, for me, you’re the best father in the whole world. If only…….

What if there really is a Fountain of Youth? Would you plunge right into it? Would you, right away, drink from it? Or would you rather let yourself be and enjoy the process of aging?

Aging is a common fear especially amongst women. In fact, along with it, comes our subconscious and conscious what ifs. What if I grow old old fat and ugly? What if my husband will then abandon me for a young woman? What if I become sickly and my children won’t take care of me? What if my pension won’t be enough for my expenses? These questions and many others had been crossing my mind for a while now after the thought of my age and the feeling of being beaten and left out by the younger generations got into my nerves.

But as I looked at my mother, I got back to my senses and realized that getting old is a choice. One can grow up without really getting old. I realized that, though I can age as everybody else will, I can choose what kind of old person I want to be and I want to be just like my mom! She’s been through a lot even until now and, yet, at the age of 53, she just looks like our elder sister- so young, charming and beautiful! Beauty is, indeed, beyond age.

For people who are really working hard, being able to reward yourself is the most anticipated thing to do. But how do we do it? What reward are we giving ourselves after getting our salaries and bonuses? Typically, we buy new gadgets, clothes and accessories or, otherwise, treat ourselves to a grand restaurant, full body massage or spa. Well, if it’s a few weeks ago, my immediate answer would have been a laptop but, now, not anymore. Yes, material things can bring some sort of happiness to us but will this last? Will these things guarantee us a secured future? Is having such gadgets going to make us worry-free when we grow old or if, GOD forbid, we lose our jobs?

One thing that I have learned in IMG’s financial literacy workshops is the importance of paying your self the right way. Can you imagine how nice it would be to be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor even when you retire? And how relieved you would be to know that if anything happens to you or your family, you are financially ready?The  IMG concepts have opened my eyes to the reality that no matter how small my salary is, I can and should save some of my grains for the rainy days. Because of IMG, I realized that I while I’m enjoying the sunshine, I must also prepare for the storm.

That is why I am really thankful that I came across with IMG. And, though I have just started, I can really proudly say that I am paying myself the right way!

Few months ago, I was an ordinary person with an ordinary way of thinking and, sad to say, not facing my present situation and always daydreaming about my future. With or without a job, I had always wished that one day my family and I will live a happy and comfortable life in our own house with a nicely landscaped front yard and a backyard planted with crops, fruits and vegetables. Such a nice dream, isn’t it? But few months ago, I was lost in that daydream.

Today, I am still an ordinary person and I still have dreams but I’m no longer lost – not because my dream has finally come true but because I know better now. Just this month, my aunt and her friends introduced IMG to me. And, although I had only attended a few financial literacy seminars, I had learned and realized a lot. Through IMG, I was able to wake up from my years of daydreaming and had found a way to make it come true. If only I had known earlier but it is never too late!

The truth really hurts and reality really bites however we can not live in our dreamland forever nor can we hide or runaway from the reality. Nevertheless, we can accept the truth and embrace the reality, accept its challenges then plan and strive hard to bite it back! Who says it’s easy? It is indeed hard yet it is, definitely, not impossible! All it takes is a determined and disciplined heart and mind. So, are you ready?

About two months ago, I really can’t wait to fly. Although, I know that I will miss my life and my loved ones in the Philippines, I just can’t hide my excitement upon learning that I already have a chance to go abroad. I said to myself, “Now, I can finally fulfill my dream for myself and my family. I’ll have my own chance to help my family and save money for my future.”

Upon arriving at the Dubai International Airport, I was so filled with joy and eagerness to tour around the city. I was so amazed by the new things around me that I have never deeply cried over missing the loved ones I left in my country. Even when I was in Kish, I didn’t feel so much longing for them. In fact, I, most of the time, felt like I was just on vacation savoring every moment of it.

Now that I am living on my own, everything has changed. I started to feel the feeling of being really alone. It’s as if, I am in a dark place and nobody else is there to comfort and rescue me. It really hurts deep inside that I feel like my heart is being crushed all the time. There are times that I can’t help but cry even when I am in the office. I, actually, cry myself to sleep at night. How I wish I could grow a pair of wings so that I can use to fly back home. I miss being there. I miss being with my family, boyfriend and friends. If I can just turn back the hands of time…

Recalling how I ended up taking care of bella really reminds me of how thankful I should be. I still remember when my boyfriend’s fierce dog gave birth to 5 female puppies. Among them, I liked champagne and gorgeous  because of they nice colors and thick, long furs. Among the five, I detested to have bella since she had a bloated left eye. But, since she’s the only one left after series of events, I ended up with her.

Being so small and sickly, she was always bullied by my three other puppies- cutie, pretty and wafo. So, I trained her to sleep inside a box while tying up the other puppies away from her. When my wafo died because of a certain disease, I immediately rushed her and the two others (who were also sick at that time) to the the clinic. Sadly, as the vet said, only bella was saved by the vaccine. After which, I poured all my attention to bella.

Whenever I am free, I make it a point to play with her. I wonder if I treated her so much like a human being because she is so smart! She cries when I cry, she snubs or glares at me whenever I scold her or she wants to sleep in my bed and she eats whatever I eat even fruits and vegetables. Unbelievable, right? But it is true. In fact, I have never seen a dog who loves to eat adobong string beans, banana, ripe mangoes and pineapple! I am really very proud to have bella, my great wonder dog!

When I was younger, I used to dream that my family was well-off. It felt true at some point though. But, ever since I decided to act and think according to my age, my eyes had been opened wide and I started to notice the real kind of life we have.

When our father was still alive, although we’ve also had some difficulties, there was never a time that I felt so hungry and unfortunate. He, together with my mother, always made sure to provide us with whatever we need and encourage us stay hopeful. I’ll never forget that he used to let us all sing “GOD will make a way” to keep our spirits alive everytime we feel so down. I can also recall the time when papa was already ill and we have nothing to cook at all. Since we were hesitant to ask our neighbors for a loan, he got up and went to borrow few kilos of rice, eggs and canned goods at his friend’s store. I was very happy that day. Not only because we were able to fill-up our stomachs but because I felt so safe and secured knowing that my father is ready and willing to do anything just for us.

Even though my father is already gone, his memories continue to live on and keep reminding me to stay strong. To hold on and always believe that GOD will never leave me, that HE will make a way.  Until now, whenever I’m facing such predicament and I feel like giving up, I always go back to those times. The certain times which I hold closely to my heart. Times when my father showed me that faith and prayer works. That things may not go smoothly and according to our plans but, if it is GOD’s will, we’ll surely get by.

It’s not easy for me to recall the past especially if it’s related to my father but, I guess, I have to let it out somehow. It has been 9 years already yet I can still clearly recall my father’s last message to me. And whenever I think of it, I always end up in tears. He told me “I want to be with you on the day you get married. I want to accompany you to the altar in the church on your wedding.” Being young and carefree then, I did not  take it seriously and disregarded it at that time. But it keeps on coming back to my mind especially whenever I think and plan of getting married.

Although it is not the reason why I don’t want to get married yet but I really wish to have him by my side on my wedding day and every day of my life. Even if it’s just a wishful thinking now since he’s already with our Lord, I still wish for it to happen. Just how amazing would it be to see him smile as he give my hand to my groom and as we dance during the reception. Oh, how I wish to hear his laugh again, to feel his warm embrace once more.

Nine long years had past ‘Pa but I still hope you’re here with us. I always think of you during my happy times and wished you’d come back to comfort and defend me whenever I’m down and being bullied. I guess I’m not really as strong as you are but thinking of you makes me want to be. Your love and memories always remind me to be strong and inspire me to keep going. Now that I’m about to open another chapter of my life, even if you will no longer be able to tap my back, I believe that you’re looking at me from heaven and you’re happy for me. I love you so much ‘Pa and I miss you more everyday…

In a few days from now, I’m gonna be a Godmother again and I can’t help but become a bit sensitive about it. If I’m not mistaken, I first became a Godmother when I was 20 years old and had been one for countless of times over the past years. I am not mad about that fact, I am just not that happy thinking about it.

I love kids and sincerely like being a Godmother except when I’m asked for gifts during Christmas (lol). But what I love the most is having a baby of my own. Although, I am not yet ready financially but, I know that deep inside my heart, I really want to become a mother. How wonderful would it be to be called “mother” by your own child. I truly wish to experience that someday and I know that if it’s GOD’s will, I will become one in HIS time…

Traveling and/or working abroad has always been my dream even when I was a child. In fact, I had even swore to myself to never get married I haven’t been abroad yet. So funny and childish, isn’t it? But I have been keeping that promise in my heart all these years.

After turning 21, I had decided to pursue my dream and has eagerly started agency-hopping as well. However, each time I pass the interviews and start to process my documents, some things always arises which eventually prevented me from really going abroad. Then, about three years ago just after resigning from my job, I passed another interview in a well-known placement agency that hires crews for restaurants. I was really very happy at that time. Unfortunately, the people from DFA discovered something wrong in my birth certificate and strongly required me to have it fixed first by the NSO before they’ll reconsider my passport application. Though the process didn’t cost that much yet it took more than three months so I lost my job opportunity again and I became more frustrated than ever.

Now, I believe things are going my way somehow. In fact, although I’m a bit anxious, I really can’t contain my happiness and excitement that much since I already have a visa waiting for me. With God’s help and my family’s support, my dream will already be fulfilled very soon. And, in a couple of days from now, it will be my very own time to spread my wings, my very own time to fly!